A Country funny

Thoughts from across the pond
>
> Leave it to the Irish to cut through the crap and make the
> whole issue crystal clear... An email from Ireland to
> the brethren in the States...a point to ponder despite your
> political affiliation:
>
> 'We, in Ireland , can't figure out why people are
> even bothering to hold an election in the United States
> this year. On one side, you have a pants wearing woman
> lawyer, married to a lawyer who can't keep his pants on,
> who just lost a long and heated primary that they still
> haven't paid for yet, against a lawyer who states he is
> 'black' when it is documented that he is only 12%
> 'black', who goes to the wrong church , who has
> stated that he wants his countrymen to learn to speak
> Spanish rather than English, who refuses to put his hand
> over his heart and say the pledge of allegiance or wear the
> flag of the country he wants to run, who can't remember
> if there are 50 or 57 states in his own country, who is
> married to yet another lawyer who doesn't even like the
> country her husband wants to run. Now...On the other side,
> you have a nice old war hero whose name starts with the
> appropriate 'Mc' terminology married to a good
> looking younger woman who owns a beer distributorship.
> What in Lord's name are ye lads thinking over there in
> the colonies??

Subject: Quiz for Smart People...

Quiz for People who know a lot.

This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry
that I am not one of those people. These 9 are not trick questions. They
are straight questions with straight answers.

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the
participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for
several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every
year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear
inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is
genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the
bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters 'dw' and
they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at
least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned,
processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with
the letter 'S.'

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Answers to Quiz:

1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the p articipants
know the score or the leader until the contest ends is BOXING.

2. The North American landmark constantly moving backwards is NIAGARA
FALLS .
(The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the
millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)

3. The only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for
several growing seasons are ASPARAGUS and RHUBARB.

4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside is STRAWBERRY.

5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew =2 0inside the
bottle. (The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and
are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the
entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at
the stems.)

6. Three English words beginning with dw are Dwarf, DWELL, and DWINDLE.

7. The fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar are Period, Comma,
Colon , Semicolon, Dash, Hyphen, Apostrophe, Question Mark, and
Exclamation Point, Quotation Marks, Brackets, Parenthesis, Braces, and
Ellipses.

8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed,
cooked, or in any other form but fresh is Lettuce.

9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S' are
Shoes, Socks, Sandals, Sneakers, Slippers, Skis, Skates, Snowshoes,
Stockings, Stilts.

PLEASE DO YOUR PART..... Today is National Mental Health Day. You can do
your part by remembering to send this e-mail to at least one unstable
person.
Well, my job's done!

'Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep
your balance you must keep moving. Albert Einstein

As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point
the wrong way